The Twelve Days of Hogwarts
by Meloblaster
Summary: A version of the classic Christmas Carol The Twelve Days of Christmas starring...Drumroll please...Hogwarts. The title says it all. ^-^ Co-written by Pharoahess Michelle and me.
1. Twelve Days of Hogwarts

Meloblaster: 'Ello everybody! Yes this is the moment you've been waiting for. The first ever edition of the Twelve Days of Hogwarts.

Pharoahess Michelle: This is a fun little song-fic co-written by Meloblaster and me.

Meloblaster: Don't worry guys. Michelle's yami didn't get a chance to add anything, so you won't have to worry about your innocence

Akane (Michelle's yami): What is that supposed to mean?

Pharoahess: What do you think it means?

Akane: You made me seem dirty-minded

Meloblaster: Glad you caught on.

Akane: Why you…*rushes at Meloblaster, tries to pin her to the ground*

Meloblaster: *sidesteps*

Akane: *falls face first on the ground*

Meloblaster: *shrugs* That was easy.

Pharoahess: mwhahahahaha … Well anyways, for the disclaimer: The content was taken from Harry Potter, so all the names you recognize in the song belongs to J. K. Rowling. These lyrics are sung to the Twelve Days of Christmas, a popular Christmas Carol. 

Meloblaster: Read, Sing, Enjoy and review!!!!!!!

The Twelve Days of Hogwarts

On the first day of Hogwarts, Professor Snape gave me,

A great big detention.

On the second day of Hogwarts, Professor Snape gave me,

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the third day of Hogwarts, Professor Snape gave me

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the fourth day of Hogwarts, Professor Snape gave me

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the fifth day of Hogwarts Professor Snape gave me

5 werewolf essays

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the 6th day of Hogwarts Professor Snape gave me

6 hexes in a row

5 werewolf essays

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the 7th day of Hogwarts Professor Snape gave me

7 drops of veritaseum

6 hexes in a row

5 werewolf essays

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the eighth day of Hogwarts Professor Snape gave me

8 NEWTS level questions

7 drops of veritaseum

6 hexes in a row

5 werewolf essays

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the ninth day of Hogwarts Professor Snape gave me

9 duels with Malfoy

8 NEWTS level questions

7 drops of veritaseum

6 hexes in a row

5 werewolf essays

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the tenth day of Hogwarts Professor Snape gave me

10 points from Gryffindor

9 duels with Malfoy

8 NEWTS level questions

7 drops of veritaseum

6 hexes in a row

5 werewolf essays

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the 11th day of Hogwarts Professor Snape gave me

11 newt eyeballs

10 points from Gryffindor

9 duels with Malfoy

8 NEWTS level questions

7 drops of veritaseum

6 hexes in a row

5 werewolf essays

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

On the twelfth day of Hogwarts Professor Snape gave me

12 day suspension

11 newt eyeballs

10 points from Gryffindor

9 duels with Malfoy

8 NEWTS level questions

7 drops of veritaseum

6 hexes in a row

5 werewolf essays

4 hours with Lockhart

3 boomslang skins

2 poison potions and a great big detention.

Pharoahess: Well, hope ya liked it. It was soooooooooo kawaii ^_^

Meloblaster: Remember to review! Flames will be fed to my pet black hole, so feel free to send them.

Pharoahess: You never told me you had a pet black hole.

Meloblaster: It's name is CrimEye

Pharoahess: Oh okay.

Crazy Canuck: *****pops out of nowhere*** **a-HEM! Where's my credit?! *taps her foot impatiently*

Meloblaster: Um ya, she helped make up the name for it, but it's MY black hole… *to Crazy Canuck* We'll settle this later *to everyone* Well, we gotta go plot some more. Looking forward to your reviews!

Pharoahess Michelle: Ja ne! Oh yeah, before you all break the door, please check out my Twelve Days of Badminton !! velly much appreciated! Ok, now you can go. 


	2. Insult! Insults! Read All About It! Plea...

Insults, Insults, Read all about it!!!

_First of all, this is not a story. I repeat, this is not a story. _

**Hello, all you fellow blasters**,

I'm currently starting a new HP story and I'm desperately in need of insults!!! If you have any good ones, please send them to me through the reviews. 

BTW, I am trying to insult a papaya…long story, but it comes up throughout my fic. It is an important part of the humour. These insults would probably start around the fourth chapter, so look for them there.

Thanks for all your help!

Meloblaster

The Chief Blaster of the Universe

Dedicated to evoking priceless faces out of innocent bystanders

**To All My Reviewers:**

Thanks for all those reviews! It really made our day reading them.

**Azaelian**: I'm glad you our Snape gifts! Pharoahess and I thought they were funny too!

**Snakecharmer**: Thanx a lot!

**Crystal Angel**: Oh gees, thanx! We're not really that good. We just like to go psycho sometimes.

**Jackie**: I'm glad you liked it. 

**Kahil**: Thanx for the enthusiasm! I'm dying to know how others would react to it. Would you give me some feedback on their reactions if you every make ppl sing it?

**Askaban Canuck**: Of course, my partner-in-crime. I can always count on her review. Yeah, yeah, yeah, how do you want to settle the CrimEye situation? Muggle or magical duel? I'm quite skilful with a badminton racket, you know…

BGA MEMBER #9834212344556532368866:

I'm sorry to disappoint you, Wilbert, but it is my duty to inform you that your flame has somehow found its way into the jaws of Askaban Canuck's and my black hole. You have my deepest condolences. 

The Surgeon General: 

I'm sorry to disappoint you Doc, but it is my duty to inform you that your flame has somehow found its way into the jaws of Askaban Canuck's and my black hole. You have my deepest condolences. 

BTW, I would not contradict myself in the future if I were you. You said that reading and writing were hazardous to my health, and yet you took the liberty to visit Fanfiction.net and read what others have written. Or have you not noticed that Fanfiction.net is composed of stories? 

You also took the time to write me such a long flame. Are you sure you're not the one with the illness? The Contradicting-Myself syndrome perhaps? My, my, for such a serious malady I would recommend an appointment with your psychiatrist ASAP.

**Music Lover**: What do you define as your preferred music category? If it is the tune you are after, I suggest you flame the guy who wrote the score for the original Twelve Days of Christmas. If it is the lyrics you find offending, then I would like to point out to you that most of the lyrics were in the original Twelve Days of Christmas. I was simply adapting the song to fit into the world of Harry Potter. 

**Queen Li**: I am planning to start a chapter story now, but if I ever think of another crazy theme, I'll be sure to let you know. Thanx for reviewing!

**SnapeMistress2002**: Our first reviewer, Mishe!!! *Bouncing off the walls with joy* Thank you so much! You made your roommates mad? Congratulations! That's our mission in life, you know, pissing ppl off. Thank you, thank you, thank you once again!!!!

Meloblaster


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